"Can I switch?"

This morning was a really special morning with my kids. The conversation was real and the kids were really responsive this morning. Instead of the glazed over, tired, morning looks that the kids usually have, they were energetic. They were talking and discussion was happening. I wanted to learn more about what Buddhism was to them, so I asked them to tell me who Buddha was in their lives. After some interesting answers and a lot of confusion, I asked them to write for me. I have said this before, but something about writing makes them produce honest answers. I asked them to write about how life would be different if Buddha did not exist. They needed to tell me how the past, present, and future would be different. 

Some of the students got writing, and others got frustrated. They couldn't complete the assignment because they said that nothing would be different. I told them to tell me why they are Buddhist and what affect it has on their lives, and then think about how that would change if Buddhism did not exist. I told them that my life would be drastically different if God did not exist and I want to know how their life would be different without Buddhism. Some of my smartest students were stumped. They sat there and adamantly told me that they couldn't complete the writing assignment because nothing would be different if Buddhism did not exist. All of the sudden one of my boys, who was getting really irritated that he couldn't write anything, told me that he wanted to switch. Switch what? "I want to switch religions. I want to be a Christian, but I don't know how"!!! This is a student who has been struggling with things all year long. He reads the bible every chance he gets in class and will come up to me with stories and ask questions. He has a desire to know God, and I have seen this all along, but he also comes from a Buddhist home and struggles with wanting to believe in both things. He said that he prays to Buddha so he can talk to God. A moment before that he told me that Buddha was not God. So then I asked him what God he was talking to through Buddha, and he said "your God". 

He prays to Buddha to talk to God. That is a great picture to me of the tension that a lot of kids face here. Their families are Buddhist and they don't know how to access God without masking it or getting in trouble. They have this tension to still follow the Buddhist traditions, but they sense and feel the realness of God. 

The conversation in the classroom got so real and I got to share with my kids about how I grew up in a Christian home and did not have to make my faith my own until I went to University. A lot of them talked about how they only do these things because of their parents. I told them that they would one day have to choose and religion is not inherited. We got to talk about how they can become Christians if they choose and what that means. I left class this morning feeling almost numb because of the awesome things God did in that classroom this morning. This afternoon I red through all of their responses and found that one other student, who was previously not a Christian, wrote in his journal that he is a Christian and God makes a lot more sense to him than Buddha. He wants to be a Christian and follow God because he "can feel God"!!!

I am so excited to see my kids experiencing God on their own and sensing God's presence in their lives. I would love if you could be praying with me for my students. I know that the enemy will be after them now that they have proclaimed that they want to be Christians, and I believe in the power of prayer to help protect them from that. I also know that by sharing this I likely will be attacked in some form, because this place seems to be the stomping ground of the enemy (because God is moving here). So please, be encouraged by this, but also keep this school and class in your prayers. 

Tough Questions!

God is moving here, and I am seeing it. I never doubted that God was doing awesome things here, but I feel privileged to be able to see tangible glimpses of the things he is doing both throughout the school and within my classroom.

Over the past week my kids have surprised me. Their questioning has become unreal, and at times, intimidating. I never thought that the questions of a grade four student could have me stop to think so much. During devotions they have been coming up with questions that seem far beyond their thinking level, and they nonchalantly raise their hands in a grade four manner (waving it wildly and sometimes saying "Miss Chrissy, Miss Chrissy" as they do) and unleash these questions. I will give you some examples.

We were discussing Noah's ark after we went through the story of Cain and Abel, and one of the quieter boys in my class raised his hand. This was his question: if God knew everything that was going to happen, why would he even create people in the first place if he knew he was going to kill them off? All of the sudden I found myself going back to the creation story and breaking apart this question. This devotion time took a completely different route than I had ever imagined and I found myself struggling to put an answer into simple grade four terms for them. 

A few days later we were discussing the salvation story and I was talking about how Jesus came to save us from our sins. They all seemed to understand this part, but then one of my girls raised her hand: Why did God send Jesus to die on the cross to save us from our sins... didn’t God sin first when he murdered everyone and sent the flood? Isn’t he just sending Jesus to save himself? But how can he save himself if God and Jesus are the same person? After this question was asked I sat there a little bit stunned that this was coming out of the mouth of a fourth grade student. I didn't even know where to begin in answering that one. 

Now picture this little girl who adamantly does not believe in God and is strictly Buddhist. She is grinning from ear to ear, because to her this is a competition and she has won. I never thought I would be discussing deep theological issues with fourth graders. I am learning so much and continually researching these much debated issues to bring them answers at a grade four level. They listen to what I say, but they don't have the capacity to respond to what I have said and talk back. Although their questions come at a much higher level than their grade and age, their ability to understand the whole conversation is not quite there. That presents an extra challenge though, because you can't delve into something and talk it out with them. I have told them that I am so proud of their critical thinking abilities and that their questions are phenomenal. I am shocked by the connections that are being made in their brains with the things we are discussing in class. This is proof to me that God is working in them, even if it is in the form of asking tough questions. They are mulling through things that have been said and remembering details. They know the stories and have understood at more than a surface level, because they are able to talk about the details and relate them to other events. 

I am so proud of them, and even if they are making me nervous daily, I know it is good for me (and them). I am being stretched and I am getting to know the hearts of my students more and more each day. 

Upon Further Reflection...

Since I returned from Christmas break it has been a time of settling back into classroom routines and enjoying having more energy than prior to the break! It has also been a time where I have been reflecting on my break, the good and the bad. Unfortunately my incident in  Hong Kong has been giving me sleepless nights since I returned. I have been waking up with vivid nightmares that are a combination of both real and fake details and places. These sort of nightmares are so terrifying to me, because when I wake up screaming it takes a moment to separate the dream from reality because part of the dream was a past reality. Even though there are nightmares and scary moments still, I have been able to see the hand of God so evidently in details from that night, and I want to share that with you. Hopefully you will be able to see and know the protective, loving hand of God in the details below. 

I know that the way out of the building was not supposed to be through a barricaded door in the basement. I know at that moment that there were no other options though, so that is all I was left with. Every time I think about that it gives me the absolute creeps, but also reminds me of how awesome our God is. So many times in my life, it is when I am left with nothing that I make room for God to do everything. That is exactly what happened (and had to happen) here. I was so helpless and vulnerable, and obviously not where I was supposed to be at that time, but he led me out and it allowed me to see His hand in the smallest details. 

The lady at reception asked to take my passport to copy it, and I told her no. She seemed a little shady and I was only going to be there a matter of hours, so I told her I would show it to her but she couldn't take it. That is not like me at all. In fact, in working overseas I have become so used to people taking my passport for just about anything. I even got asked for my passport when I went to buy M&M's at the airport one time! So for me to have said no to giving my passport to someone is very unlike me. Also, I was exhausted so it would be my natural reaction to just do whatever they asked of me. Instead, I didn't even think about it and said no. In retrospect I am SO GLAD I did not give that woman my passport for any period of time. That was God working in that moment. 

Another part of the night that I know God was fully involved in was the time that I left the building. My room was not heated and it was COLD. Thailand doesn't get cold and I had just come from NZ summer, so I was not prepared for cold weather in Hong Kong. Then when my room was not heated and not insulated it left me shivering. I think this was an act of God though, because when I woke up in the morning I literally put my flip-flops on (only one in Hong Kong wearing flip-flops....everyone else had boots on) and grabbed my bag and left. I had no desire to hang around in the cold. I also am pretty anal about getting places on time. I think this stems from my parents always being late for everything, so I guess I can thank them too ;) So I wanted to make sure that I got to the airport with plenty of time to spare. The woman at reception had asked me several times when I was leaving in the morning, and then she suggested a time that I leave. I told her yes, and then she confirmed 3 times with me that I would be leaving at the time she asked. I thought nothing of it at the time, because I was so tired and she was just getting a little annoying. So I nodded my head, assured her I would leave then and left. I actually ended up leaving at 5:25am instead of 6am, a whole 35 minutes earlier than I said I would be going. As I was trying to open the doors and found them locked, it hit me that I had told her exactly what time I was leaving the building and when I would be on my way out. 

I had also confirmed with her multiple times that I would not bring my key past a certain door in the morning. Nothing made sense as I was at reception because I did not know the door she was talking about. I thought it would all make a lot more sense when I saw it, so I kind of ignored the sense of urgency in her voice and agreed. I told her I would NOT bring my key past this door. So in the morning, I left the key where she told me to leave it, walked my way through a self-locking door and proceeded to walk, without a key, through a series of doors that all locked behind me. She had told me so many times NOT to bring my key through that door. That sure was racing through my mind also as I went to unlock the doors and realized I had no key. It was in that moment when I put together the fact that she told me to leave my key so adamantly and she knew exactly what time I was leaving the building (and had confirmed it with me 3 times) that I felt overwhelmed with panic and knew I was in trouble. As I walked down those stairs, and I honestly don't know how I did, my legs felt like jello. I have no better way of explaining the feeling than saying my body was petrified or frozen with fear and for some reason I was still walking. My legs didn't feel attached to me and just felt jello-like. I don't know if I knew in the moment that my prayers for protection were certainly being heard and God was carrying me, but in retrospect this is the only way to make sense of that. In the moment, however, I felt like I was being directed by someone other than myself. Every motion or movement I took was quick and fluid and I felt like I wasn't doing a lot of thinking. If I had paused to think about the situation I was in I would likely have curled up in fetal position and been a mess. As I think about how quickly my mind processed and moved and didn't even think about how terrifying some of the things were, I know this was God. As I processed things more (when I was on the bus), they became more frightening, and if I was processing them as they were happening to that extent, I don't think I would have made it out of there. 

A lot of people have asked me how I could even go down those basement stairs, and I can't tell you. I am scared of the dark in my own house and would not go down dark stairs if they were familiar to me. I am not exactly the most courageous person I know (far from that, actually), so it is overly evident that all of this was God guiding me through every step. I will probably never be able to explain to you the feeling of fear that I experienced or get you to understand exactly how terrifying that basement was, but I hope you can understand that we have a God who protects us during the scariest times and acts in ways that we don't even know. I keep thinking of all the tiny details that were probably all part of God's plan for my safety, and it overwhelms me. The details that he planned seem so well planned out, when it was only one days decisions and actions affecting the next day. I try to imagine that God has us doing things in our life now that may be connected to things we do 50 years from now, and it blows my mind! He knows every detail and plans everything so much more intricately than we could ever fathom. I think of myself as an organized person, but the amount of pre-planning and organization that goes into even a day of our lives is too much for my mind to handle! 

If anyone would like to pray that the nightmares I am having would take a hike, that would be awesome, and greatly appreciated. It has been a couple weeks without a solid night of sleep, and I so badly want good sleep back! 

(Not) Alone in Hong Kong

I should be sleeping right now, but I can't. I am lying here thinking about the whirlwind that this past two weeks has been. I just came back from New Zealand and absolutely loved every minute of it. I am frozen thinking about God's faithfulness and protection over the past 72 hours in my life. I just can't get over his hand of protection over circumstances I found myself in, and perhaps it will be somewhat therapeutic to put this down in words.

I travelled to NZ alone, and it was a fantastic journey. Traveling alone can be nervewracking at times, especially as a female. I did have some moments where I wished I was with other people, but overall it was an amazing experience and I felt very well taken care of. That was until I started my journey home. Being at the end of the trip, I felt like the trip was done and my adventure had ended. Little did I know that the adventure was just about to begin. I spent the night before my 8am flight "sleeping" at the Auckland airport. I didn't end up sleeping and boarded my flight rather exhausted. I have always been really bad at sleeping on planes and was once again unsuccessful at sleeping on this flight. So there were another 12 hours that I did not sleep. This made me one tired girl when we landed in Hong Kong. In retrospect it was probably not a good place to be in when landing in a foreign country where English is not the primary language. I was so exhausted and could feel myself just wanting to burst into tears. I needed to find somewhere to sleep, because my connecting flight was not until the morning. I quickly got the feeling that I was not going to be allowed to sleep in the airport so I started asking about places to stay. The airport endorses places that are a minimum of $265 US dollars per night, so that was completely out of the question. They referred me to someone who had a list of hostels and cheaper accommodations. I started phoning and either a) they did not have room, b) their english was atrocious and I had no idea what they were saying, or c) they were multiple hours from the airport. After phoning the entire 3-page list of places I was so frustrated and wanted to curl up into a ball on the floor I was so tired. Finally I had to ask for more help and I was referred to a place that had a spot open. She told me I needed to get there before 6, and I wasn't sure if that was feasible. I explained to her that I was coming from the airport and didn't know anything about Hong Kong or how long things took, and asked if that would be ok. She insisted that i needed to be there by 6, and told me I might make it. Great. That was really re-assuring. At this point I don't know how to even get out of the airport (it seemed massive and so confusing) and after asking about 6 people and being entirely confused about how to leave I proceeded to have a breakdown. I finally made it to a taxi and was on my way. About an hour into the taxi ride I looked down and realized it was past 6pm now. Shoot. I am now in a taxi heading to somewhere and I am not sure if they will be there/if I am going to be able to stay there. I can't explain this to my taxi driver and can't ask him to wait because I can't even say hello in his language. My taxi driver finally (after about an hour and fourty minutes in the taxi) drops me off and simply points. I am in a massively busy area and don't see the name of my hotel anywhere. He is pointing down an alley, and when I get out he is gone.

It took a long while trying to find out where I was going, and eventually I was lead to an elevator and had no idea what floor I was going to. Seeing as the buildings are all about 40 floors high, I guess I was lucky that after going through floor 1-12, I finally found my destination on floor 12. I checked in and was told by the woman at the desk who spoke broken english that I needed to follow this other woman to my room in another building. I followed her and found myself being led back outside and through the busy streets of Hong Kong. She did not speak English and wasn't even looking behind her to see if I was still there. There were so many people and I was scared I was going to lose her and not know where to go. We were taken off the main street and down several smaller streets and finally made it to this other building.

This building was the sketchiest place I have ever been in. She took me to the lift and it took 15 minutes for it to finally come. We waited and I tried to take in my surroundings. Just generally terrifying, and I wondered what I was doing. She took me up to the floor and then through several doorways and led me to an area that had three rooms. She pointed and I guessed this was mine. It was miniature and gross. It was also freezing cold and the room was not heated, which was great when I had no luggage with me and am used to the heat of Thailand. The blankets on the bed covered about half of me, but there were 2 beds so between the two miniature really thin blankets I was able to cover myself.

I had to wake up at 5am to be able to get the bus back to the airport to make my morning flight. I had been given instructions of where this would be, so I thought I would be ok. I usually do not like to go out anywhere at 5am, let alone a place that seemed so sketchy and strange. I made my way back to the hallway where the lift was and waited for it to come. After 10 minutes of it not coming I started to think that I would need to find the stairs, but everything around me was scary and I didn't really want to look around anywhere. I waited another 5 minutes, and in fear of missing my flight because of it, I proceeded to search for a staircase. I found it and when I opened the doors to the stairs I cringed. It was a terrifyingly creepy staircase. I braced myself and told myself if I hurried down it would all be over soon. The stairs were dark and very dimly lit. As I went down there were some very shady characters around the 3rd floor. They were burning something and smoking, and they looked at me and laughed and starting speaking Chinese to one another. I quickly passed by them and picked up my pace a little. I felt like you could hear my heart beating out of my chest at this point, so i wanted to leave before they could hear it.

I finally got to the door that said 1/f which I assumed meant 1st floor. I was a little relieved to finally be there, and would soon be out onto the main road. I went to open the door and it was locked. I tried again because I was certain this must not be happening. It sure was. Locked. Going into a slight panic attack I walked back to the second floor in hopes that it would be open and I could maybe get the lift from there. Locked. All of the doors had locked behind me and I was stuck in the sketchiest stairwell I can imagine. Trying not to pass out because I was so terrified, I thought about my options. The shady men were at floor 3, and I was now back to floor one. I was not going to pass them again, but I couldn't get out floor one or two. At this moment I felt like I might die. In all seriousness I feared I was being led into the sex trade or something awful was going to happen to me. I prayed to God and asked for protection and tried not to fully freak out. At the 1st floor there was another set of smaller stairs from there that presumably led to a basement. No part of me wanted to go down them because they were small and dingy and it was darker down there than the other places. I thought about my options however, and had no choice. I think God moved my legs, because they felt like jello. I felt like I was walking on a cloud as I walked and froze with fear. As I entered the basement area my surroundings were a lot grosser and sketchier than the main stairwell, which I had thought was the ultimate in sketchy. As I came to the bottom it was dark and I couldn't see anything. I walked a few feet and started to see a light. I walked towards it and prayed that it was some sort of exit. As I proceeded I could feel a change in temperature and knew that it was an exit to the outdoors. I had to clear out construction equipment and some odd things to unblock the door, but I was able to exit from there. I walked out and was in a back alleyway and had no idea where I was.

I was still terrified and in a state of panic. I didn't feel safe yet, even though I had made it out of the building. To make it worse, there was a police vehicle making circles around the street. I already knew something was sketchy with this area, and the police vehicle parusing the area kind of confirmed that. I stood stunned and absolutely terrified and confused. Alone in Hong Kong at 5:30am with no idea where you are and no ability to communicate in their language to ask where to go. Please God, HELP! I finally had to wave down the police vehicle and ask if anyone spoke English. There were 3 police men in the vehicle and one of them spoke broken English and pointed me in the right direction. Thank you, God. I proceeded to have the most terrifyingly lonely walk through the back alleyways to the main street. Every noise made me uneasy and every person seemed untrustworthy at that moment.

I got lost and confused again, because the directions were unclear that he had given me. I had to ask so many people before I finally found someone who could speak English and help me. I was going in the wrong direction and was helped to the bus stop.

I finally made it to the airport and was able to decompress as I waited for my flight. Slightly traumatized I checked my email with the free wifi available at the airport. I was shocked to see the number of people who had said they were praying for me. I am so so thankful for all of these people because I know that the prayers were heard and God definitely has his hand of protection over me that night. The strangest thing was this, however. I had a facebook message waiting for me when I checked my emails. A girl I went to camp with and haven't talked to in over 5 years had messaged me. I had no idea she was a Christian when we went to camp, and still to this day had no idea she was a Christian. She sent me a message to say that she had woken up and checked fb and saw the trouble I was in overseas and told me that she knew she needed to pray for me. She wanted to know if I was alright. I completely broke down when I read this (yes, now the Hong Kong airport staff have seen me break down twice....awesome!), because it was just confirmation to me that I was being prayed over and protected. God alerted someone to wake up and pray for me and had people thinking and praying for me all over the world. Feeling like I actually really needed the prayers when they were happening, but not knowing until after the fact that people were praying for you is a really comforting feeling.

It hasn't been long since this happened (probably only 48 hours or something) and I am still slightly traumatized by the whole thing. I am so unbelievably thankful for God's hand of protection over me and am absolutely floored when I think about how covered I was by God's hands in this situation. I can say that I was alone in Hong Kong and many times that night I felt completely alone, but looking back it is so clear that God was with me every moment of that night and covered me as I went. I still can't really get over how awesome that is. Traumatized, but SO so thankful.