Waiting. Have you ever thought about the number of things we wait for in a day. In a week? In a month? From the everyday things such as waiting for the photocopier, for lunch time to come, or for your time on the treadmill to be done. Or even waiting at stoplights or stop signs so you can get home to wait for dinner to be cooked so that you are able to eat and then wait for a respectable hour to deem 'bedtime'. I don't know about you, but I find myself in a constant state of waiting these days. There are so many different layers of things we wait for as well. There are the everyday things, but then there are periods of life and decisions that require waiting which seems to be on a larger scale. I am currently waiting for God to reveal his plans for my immediate future, which probably seems a lot more immediate to me than it does to Him at the moment. I have applied to schools and a job (which may or may not be on this continent) and find myself back in that place of wanting to have everything planned out. I seem to find myself here often, but each time I am in this place I have another example of God's recent faithful provision to be reminded of. This makes it easier to trust that this time will be no different, but I still ache to know what plans lie ahead. This desire to know what lies ahead has made me think a lot about waiting recently.
The other day as I checked the status of my applications I came to the realization that there doesn't need to be anxiety in this waiting period. I find myself anxious to know what is coming, but then I think back on the last months of my life. I remember the last time I was in a period of waiting (it really wasn't that long ago) and my desire to know what was next. That period was followed by a season of knowing exactly what I was doing and being completely overwhelmed with 130 of hours of work a week for months at the beginning of the school year. I wanted to know what was coming, and then all of a sudden I knew all too well what I was doing and the expectations were laid out and completely overwhelming. In that time I so badly wanted a different season to come and couldn't wait for a time where I didn't have so many demands and expectations to constantly be battling.
Now as I finish out this school year and wait for what is next, I have realized that God has placed waiting in front of me for a reason. The work has been done, there is absolutely nothing for me to do to change any outcomes at the moment, and all He wants me to do is wait. I am so terrible at this, but I am hoping to see this waiting period and waiting periods to come in life as gifts of time to relax and rest in knowing that this is a season to wait and not be anxious. I am confident that God gives us seasons for a reason, and I also know that sometimes I am not the best at recognizing what God already knows I need for that season. This season of waiting may be exactly what I was recently asking for, but due to my selfish desires to plan things out and know the future, I am not letting go and resting in this time that can be just that: a rest period.
It's not like I have nothing to do as I wait at the moment either. I have a classroom full of awesomely moody teenagers to attend to each and everyday (they really are awesome). They are teaching me a lot and I sure hope I am teaching them some things this year as well. So as I wait I will soak up being a middle school/high school teacher for the time being and continue to see what God is trying to teach me as I live presently in this place.
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