Something only few people know is that I had planned a trip to Iceland, Scotland, and England a few years ago! I was so excited when looking at the beautiful things we would see and daydreaming of the hiking adventures me and Robyn Haarsma would find ourselves on. Unfortunately when I say planned, this is the only stage of the trip that was able to happen as my world started to crumble on April 27, 2014 when I got emergency compartment syndrome leading to my muscles being removed. I distinctly remember talking to Robyn after and having to tell her through tears that unfortunately I wouldn't be able to go. Robyn was so understanding and wondered if there was a modified way we could do this trip (THAT folks is what a best friend is), but the unknown answers to questions of what my abilities would be after rehabilitation left us with many people saying no. I was presumed to be in a brace and using a cane for the rest of my life, and doctors certainly didn't think my time in a wheelchair and walker would be so short-stayed. The trip had changed destinations and courses many times to try and make things work, but that summer there would be no trip happening for me.
Since then I've had this spark in me to see Iceland and hike through Scotland as we had once planned. So when a few short weeks ago I was given the opportunity on a Sunday to go to Iceland with a friend (booked on the Monday and then left on the Thursday), I am sure Jen had no idea how monumental the idea of going to Iceland was for me. I have distinct memories of dreaming about what I would have been hiking, climbing, and doing in Iceland while I laid in a hospital bed and was in the middle of questioning whether I would ever do any of these things again. I had just about experienced death in the recovery room and after the trauma of watching all my vitals flatline as nurses around me hurriedly told me to keep breathing while intubating me and telling each other "she's going septic", I was simply happy to be alive. At that point it didn't matter what parts of my body had survived or not survived, it was simply amazing that I had made it through whatever was happening in the recovery room.
As I reflect now I need to remember those moments because I tend to lose that attitude of gratitude when I am not faced with the alternative of death at my doorstep. It's easy to start complaining about what is hard and challenging with fewer muscles in my body. However, on this trip to Iceland, which was monumental in itself, I found myself faced with an incredibly ironic and monumental situation. While hiking this incredibly gorgeous hike, we suddenly approached this river. Jen had talked about how there was a river crossing, but I guess in my head it was a little less dramatic. Most of you know that by having my leg muscles removed, it seriously effects balance in that leg. So most activities can be done, but things like say, balancing on wet logs over a rushing river, are just things I would casually put into the "I can't do that" category. Fast forward to that rushing river that crosses over amazingly-spectacular landscapes, but also happens to be a guide-wire leading you across wet rocks and onto a hanging wet log suspended over rushing water. No big deal to anyone else. Slight heart attack for me. But here I was: in Iceland, facing a very large challenge since having these muscles removed. I crossed the river two times (there and back) and was able to complete something really monumental for me during an otherwise ordinary moment for other people. I did fall on the way back over (not badly at all..just a slip) but it kind of was a metaphorical moment. Yes, there are considerably more slips and falls in my life now. If you know me, I both hate them and joke about them constantly because you just have to get back up. Iceland had a few more falls than that one, but the end result was amazing! It was a trip that I'd been waiting for for such a long time, and I had no idea it would happen that weekend. Now I just need to hike across Scotland with Robyn Haarsma to complete that trip ;) I bought the lonely planet guide a couple weeks ago...let's get planning!!
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