A Healthy Dose of Awkward....

I am basically the queen of awkward situations, and this is not something that started once I got on a bicycle. No, it has been a longstanding part of my life, and something that provides quite a bit of entertainment to those who know me (and probably those who don't even know me)! However, this phenomenon has continued and maybe even increased in frequency as I don my dorky bicycling outfit (refer to description in last blog post if you are confused) and hit the streets. There is far too much potential for bad situations when on a bicycle, and I have been so lucky to have avoided a lot of the major sources of awkward on a bicycle (example: bailing hard).

I have, however experienced two awkward cycling moments recently. Both occurred in the same day, and I apologize to residents of Langley who may have had to witness these fantastic moments in my day.

First moment. I am starting out on the commute to school, and it is quite early and I am being woken up by the cool air and beauty of no rain (ideal way to wake up!). Once again, I am in my professional cycling outfit, which includes dress pants tucked into one sock and running shoes. I surged into the intersection (favourite) and all of the sudden within moments I was faced with a brilliantly awkward moment. Before I could do anything, my pant leg that is not tucked into my sock (non-chain side) starts conversing with my chain. AHHHHH. Moment of sheer panic. I have to abandon ship and awkwardly stop pedalling at that very second to avoid a potentially disastrous situation. Thank goodness for my speedy reaction time, and the timing of looking down and seeing this disaster in the making. I immediately stopped pedalling, which in itself is just weird. Not only is that weird, but let's remember that I am in the middle of the 200th street intersection. Not exactly the place I want to be stopping to take a small break. Now that my legs are off the pedals and I am suspended on my bike not pedalling (I am pretty sure you can only be like this for a second or two, and then you are bound to fall over), I make sure that my pant leg is released from the chain and successfully plant my feet on the ground. Ok, so all of this was a little less smooth than I making it sound. I was nervous and was close to completely losing my balance and wiping out in the intersection, but the important part is that this did not happen. I maintained composure and got one foot to the ground with only a minor hole in my pants from the chain. This is excellent news considering I was not far off from bailing hard in the intersection because my pant leg was eaten by my bicycle. I would not be loving Louise (my bicycle) if this was the case. So now I am off my bike (still in the intersection) and have to put my pant leg into my wool sock before I can proceed. I can imagine that this would be highly entertaining to watch if you were sitting in your vehicle at the intersection. All in all, the situation was just plain awkward. I was also scared that the light was going to change as I was standing in the intersection, but luckily there was a pedestrian (at 7 in morning......brilliant!) which made the light just long enough for me to evacuate the area before I got run over.

Fast forward several hours later to when I am leaving school. It is now raining, which makes bicycling even more of an adventure. I learned from my earlier mistake in the day (progress!) and tucked in BOTH pant legs this time. I was cruising down a hill and was thinking to myself "wow that rain sure seems a lot harder when you are riding so quickly into it". There is a problem with this thought. I assumed that I was riding quickly. I guess it must have been a long day, because that in itself would be a joke. For me to be riding quickly enough for it to be "raining" that hard into my face was probably unlikely. Anyways, I like to think that I am a bicycling machine that rides a lot quicker than I actually do, and maybe it was a good thing that I was delusionally convinced of this in that moment. So I am cruising down this hill and I am starting to not be able to see. I have done this ride a lot of times, and I know that there are several pot-hole-like areas down this road. Unfortunately I am being blinded by this intense "rain" and am getting a little scared that I may have a collision due to my not being able to see. So much so that I actually considered putting on sunglasses as I rode down the hill so that I could block the incoming rain from making me close my eyes. It was pretty grey out though, and there is a certain level of dorky that I am not willing to pass when sporting my already stylish attire.

As I am nearing the large corner of my ride, I notice that there is an accident up ahead. Most of the cars are turning around, and I am not sure what to do. I can't exactly just turn around and detour. Well, I could, but I'm lazy. And by lazy I mean that I would probably double the number of kilometers I would have to ride and it is already pouring rain. As I near the corner, I slow down and notice that there is a bad accident that has happened. I intend to see if I can just quickly get by on the sidewalk, but as I come closer I notice that there are 3 cars in front of me that are driving on the sidewalk to get around this accident. How dare they take up my territory on the road? Ridiculous. So I am now paused waiting for a spot to get through. Now cue the impecably awkward timing of the firetruck arriving just as I am waiting for a way to get out of this situation. The firetruck is coming up behind me, and all of the sudden I realize that I am in the way. Yes, I am on the sidewalk, but I suddenly realize that the firetruck might need to come up on the sidewalk to access the accident. Shoot. So I step off the side of the sidewalk, which just happens to be a steep downhill grassy ditch-like area. I am holding my bike and standing on such a slant that I am consciously trying not to fall over. I am just waiting for the firetruck to pass and then I am home free. Oh, but of course the firetruck does not pass. Instead, the truck doors stop RIGHT in front of me, and the firemen are unloading from the truck approximately 2 feet from my face. I feel awful/the most awkward. All I could say was "sorry, I'm so sorry" as I stood there and wished I could disappear just momentarily.

I got out of there as quickly as I could and finally made it to school. I entered the office and was greeted by a woman who took one look at me and proceeded to look slightly horrified. She then asked me if I needed somewhere to freshen up. Well, I am assuming if you look at me and ask me if I need to freshen up, that I probably do need to freshen up. I put my hand to my forehead and felt a crisp clump of mud under my fingertips. All of the sudden I had an awful realization. "I don't think that was rain" was what I thought. I proceeded to go to the washroom to discover that my face was completely covered with mud. Just awesome!

And to make it even better, I know that my face had that same mud on it when the firemen were getting out of their truck and I was apologizing to them. I probably looked crazy. Great!

I hope you have enjoyed sharing in these awkward moments with me, because they are becoming hilarious to experience as well. I am learning how to laugh at myself daily, and I'm throwing any bit of pride I once had out the window!