Day by Day!

I often wish that I could know what God's plans for me were. I yearn to know why everything seems so unpredictable and confusing. The more I think about it though, the less I think this is actually what I want. I like things to be surprising and unpredictable, but only yearn for life to be predictable when things seem to not work out in my favour. I think I would be bored if I knew exactly what life was going to look like, and it would take away a lot of the adventure. And what fun is a life without adventure?

I only desire for things to be predictable because I desire an outcome that aligns with what i perceive the outcome should be. If the outcome is going to be any different, I just want some buffer time to be able to deal with the fact that I am not right and God's plans are so much better. The problem with my thinking is that I am not fully trusting in God's plans for me, and I am still trying to control the way things work out. I am aware that God's plans are better than my own, but I still want sufficient warning to be able to deal with the shock of what is to come. I am not trusting that God will provide the means for me to carry out His plans in His timing. Although I am aware that they are His plans and not my own, I often do not trust that I have the capabilities to carry out these plans. Now this isn't something that I would tell someone, but it is subtly the message that is sent when I am shocked by God's plans and wish I knew them ahead of time.

I am once again in a place where I am unsure of where I will be in a short period of time. This has happened before, and I remember learning to trust in God's timing, because it is much better than my own. This time around, however, I feel like God is teaching me to constantly rely on Him and not worry about tomorrow, but instead to know that if he has placed me here today, he has given me the tools to handle whatever I will face today. I often don't feel this way. I feel terrified and like a little girl. I feel a little bit like David when he was going to face Goliath: small and inadequate. But I need to have the courage that David had, and know that with God on my side I am able to face whatever is brought against me in the day.

I was recently reminded by a good friend of the story in Exodus where Moses is told by God that He will provide manna for the Israelites, but he will only provide enough for them each day. They need to pay attention to the instructions and trust that God will provide for them each day. Those who did not trust and wished to store up the manna came back to found it covered in maggots. I feel like this is what God is teaching me right now. I need not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will care for itself (Matthew 6:34). Each day God is providing me with the essential tools (manna) to make it through that day. I am not able to store them up and prepare ahead of time. Instead it is mandatory that I come before God each day for the strength that is required to make it through that day. I am never sure what each day here will hold, and I am not sure where I will be weeks from now, but I do not need to worry about that.

If God provides somewhere else for me to be, I will go knowing that He has opened up doors for me to be there. In the meantime I will rely on him each day and know that I need His strength for each new day. I do not have the tools or capabilities to do anything on my own, but I serve a God who has placed me here for a reason, and I need to trust that He has also provided me with the tools to do what He is asking of me. He will not ask us to do anything for the day that He will not walk through us with and provide us with the strength to get through. I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 10:13 where it says "And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it". I pray that I am able to remember this as I feel that I am not able to get through days here. Please pray also that I can be reminded of God's source of strength in all moments, even ones where I feel completely unsupported and inadequate.

I am tired and frustrated after this week, and I would ask that you could pray for me as I start this week. We ended the week with overnight camp, so this whole weekend has been spent with students and then lesson planning, so I have not had much of a break. The end of last week ended with me being yelled at by a parent who is requiring something from me that I am not able to provide, and the school administration is not available and supporting me. I know that God can do far more than the administration here (thankfully!!), so I pray that He reveals his plan for this situation to me. Even though I am frustrated, I am so thankful that I am able to come to God for my tools for the day each morning and throughout he day. His mercies are new every morning, and these days I am reminded of that and so thankful for that!

Here are some of the pictures I was able to capture of the adorable students from our overnight camp this weekend. These are a few precious reminders of why I am here and what God has given me to work with:

 The overnight camp theme was the Olympics and I was with team orange! We were the Phillipines!

 The student on the left is in my class. Her name is Plai and she is so animated...I love her! 

Paper airplane throwing contest!

So much excitement! 

 Me: Ma Fuang, who much fun are you having?

Ma Fuang: This much fun! 

(Disclaimer: Ma Fuang is the cutest girl at the school and my dear friend Ms.Lolen gets to teach her!)

These are two of my students at the campfire. Peace is in the background and Niki is in the foreground. Niki is one of my most challenging students because she does not talk, but she is so dear to my heart and I love her so much! 

Having fun making torches! 

Big Day for William Squawklesworth Jr.

In every good classroom there is a signal that is used as an attention-getter. In my classroom, this just happens to be William Squawklesworth Junior. William Squawklesworth Jr. happens to be a rubber chicken, but he is an asset to our classroom and makes me laugh every day. He doesn't even speak, and he is hilarious! The kids have responded well to William, and I could not have asked for a better reception. They put William before themselves, and often asks questions about William. They ask if William can travel with us on outdoor outings. They want to feed William and take care of him, but mostly they fear William. Every time William squawks they are expected to turn to William, give their full attention and stop talking. Never in my life did i think that a rubber chicken named William would elicit such a harmonious response from a class of fourth graders. If someone were to demonstrate an ideal attention getter response, they could watch my classes response to William and know what they were searching for. It is absolutely amazing. I have a lot of fun with William and I often (daily) make up ridiculous stories to do with William. The best part about making up these stories is that my children actually understand me and laugh at me. That is something that is glorious in a classroom full of ESL students. I like to tell jokes and be funny (sometimes), but that can often be lost in a room full of students who don't understand at all what you are saying. I actually feel like a successful comedian when I am able to make most of my students laugh at something. This happened yesterday, when 10 out of 13 kids died laughing at something I said. This is such a rare occasion, but it showed me that all my humour is not lost. I usually will get about 3 kids laughing at any joke, but every time I joke with William the whole class just loves it.

Needless to say, William has been a great addition to the classroom. I have always held a secret place in my heart for William, but did not know this same special place for William was held by my students. Today one of my students crafted a list of member of 4A and this is what appeared:

Please not the last name on the page: William Squawklesworth Jr.!!!! I was in the middle of doing a reading assessment and looked up to see this out of the corner of my eye! It made me laugh so hard! 

 William is pretty darn shocked and flattered at what he sees! He officially made it onto the class list!

Such a great moment in my classroom, and a benchmark day for William Squawklesworth Jr.!

Oh, and side note: it is about the funniest thing ever hearing children who are ESL trying to pronounce William Squawklesworth Jr. It may be one of the cutest things I have ever heard!!

You Never Know: Part 2!

Pretty normal evening. We were headed out to get a taxi to head to the Muang Thong United soccer (football) game and we were greeted with this!!

In case you are wondering what the big deal is, I'll let you know. THERE IS AN ELEPHANT ON THE STREET! Now, the streets in this picture do not look busy, but I assure you that this is a very busy street. And drivers here are crazy. I would never get behind the wheel of a car, and an elephant seems like a recipe for traffic disaster! My question of the day is this: there is absolutely no pedestrian right away here (I mean, none!), but would there be an elephant right away?! 

You seriously never know what you are going to encounter here, and this was another one of those moments. I saw my first elephant in Thailand, and it was directly across the street from the school!

You never know!

I came up with a theme phrase that basically defines my entire Thailand experience: you never know! I was sitting with James, a volunteer here, and we decided that this fits just about every experience here to a tee, and it (un)clearly defines just about everything we experience. This can probably define most things in my life, but especially "normal" happenings in Thailand. I put the normal in quotations, because if these things were actually normal (to me) or any bit predictable, they would not be defined by the statement "you never know". Now some of you may be confused by what I am rambling on about, so I will try and paint a picture for you.

This past weekend we ventured to the beach and were just heading out. We hailed a taxi and the driver had been given directions. He was not pulled over to the side of the road, and instead we met him in the second lane of stalled traffic (yes, thats not weird here). We went to get into the back of the taxi, but couldn't open the door because it was too close to the next vehicle. All of the sudden the taxi started moving, and the next few moments all happened very quickly. I was holding onto the door and was not entirely sure what was happening. I moved quickly with the taxi, but then all of the sudden the traffic started moving. There is absolutely no pedestrian right away in Thailand, and people would feel justified running you over if they honk first to give you warning. Sure enough, the LARGE expedition type vehicle approximately 8 inches away from us is honking at us and proceeding to move. A honk is basically a warning to tell you that you are going to die. You have approximately 0.0004 seconds to get out of the way of the massive moving vehicle. I had a backpack on and was now jumping into the still moving taxi. Not only this, but James was right behind me. I looked back with a look of absolute panic on my face and James is pushing me into the taxi and looks absolutely mortified. He is trying to push me into the taxi further (picture someone literally in diving position trying to enter a taxi....yeah, not the best picture, but SO funny) but is simultaneously attempting to close the door of the moving vehicle and not get crushed by the cars passing. We made it into the taxi and after the shock of the situation started to break I couldn't' stop laughing. You never know. You just never know. That is about the only phrase I could use to describe that moment. Oh, and mom, I am fine. I am being safe. I know this sounds dangerous, but good thing we serve a God who protects us, right? ;)

Hua Hin beach! 3 hours away, and the bus to get there only costs $6! 

Such a beautiful place and a relaxing weekend retreat! 

Another situation where "you never know" describes the moment perfectly. We were on the beach and all of the sudden a monsoon is coming in. If you have never experienced a monsoon, this is truly something that you should experience. Crazy amounts of rain fall from the heavens like a sheet and it comes on so quickly. We saw the clouds and predicted that we would have about 5 minutes to run for shelter. 45 seconds later we were head to toe drenched. You never know. We ran back to the hotel and were eager to get our cameras and belongings into a dry place so we could run around in the monsoon. After returning from this adventure, we were standing on the porch waiting till we dried a little or wrung ourselves out. We were sopping wet and didn't think it was appropriate to walk through the hotel like this. We were going to wait a little, until we spotted something in our peripherals. A cockroach. Gross. Then I moved my head to discover that every cockroach in Thailand was flooding onto the dry porch. Funny fact: when there are monsoons, the cockroaches flood to the dryest place. Funnier fact: that dryest place just happened to be the porch we were standing on. There were HUNDREDS of cockroaches right where we were standing. One of the girls we were with was about to pass out at the sight of them, so we told her to run to her room. I am not even exaggerating that there were hundreds of cockroaches. Later we went down to photograph this moment, and I captured them sweeping them up. It doesn't clearly depict how many there actually were, but it gives a good idea. Once again, in Thailand  you never know.

These were monsoon warning clouds! 

This is when you get the strong hint that you might want to start running somewhere quickly! 

This is what you look like after getting caught in a monsoon! 

Cockroach clean up crew! 

Funny Things!

Have you ever been placed in a situation and wonder how on earth you ended up there? Recently I have been reminiscing about why exactly I am in Thailand and how it came about. I have come to the conclusion that God sure does have a sense of humour, and I am in for one wild ride.

I knew coming here that God wanted me to be here. I never would have imagined that I would be coming to Thailand. To be completely honest, I usually would look at a place, decide how many snakes lived there, and if it was any more than 2 I would seriously reconsider going there. Having this as my criteria for places I would visit, Thailand was obviously not top of the list. To be honest, I had never dreamt of going to Thailand, nor given it much thought before God made it clear that he wanted me here this year. Like never before, I felt like God was leading me here and had a purpose for me here this year. I still am unsure of what that purpose is, and despite many difficulties here thus far, still know that this is where I am supposed to be. It has been a turbulent journey of sorts, and I more than anything would love to be snuggled up in the arms of my mom and dad, but I know that God has a purpose for me here, so I am embarking on a journey here that will (and has) come with struggles.

Here are some of the many reasons God has a sense of humour in sending me here:
1. The population of snakes in Thailand is probably more than the population of people. And there are a heck of a lot of people in Bangkok, let me assure you. I have no proof of this statistic, nor am I about to willingly embark on finding proof for this statistic, but I am almost positive this is the truth. I have never met anyone in my life that is as scared of these creatures as I am, so it is humorous to me that God chose the snake capital of the world for me to live. And I'm not talking garter snakes (which are terrifying also)...I mean pythons and pit vipers. Everywhere I go, I am constantly on edge. My heart is in a constant state of panic, and I often feel like I cannot breathe when I have to go outside in the dark by myself. In fact, I have stopped going outside in the dark, because I just can't do it. In fact, right now jungle ball (the best game ever) is about to start, and I am too scared to leave and go outside in the dark to get to the gym. I know it's pathetic, but I am phobic of snakes, and apparently they make their appearances at night often. God, you're funny!
2. I am allergic to seafood, and I have been sent to the area of the world where EVERYTHING has seafood in it. Before I came here I only ever would get sick to my stomach from seafood, but since being here I have had three allergic reactions and gotten hives. Great. In Canada it is very easy to ignore seafood, and usually no one ever needs to know that you can't eat it. Here I need to tell everyone, everywhere that I can't eat that, and I never know until after if there is seafood in what I ate. God sure is funny!
3. I am pretty good at sweating in Canada, and here the weather gets a few thousand degrees hotter than Canada (give or take 975 degrees). I must say I am getting more accustom to the weather here, but I also think that is because we are transitioning from hot season to monsoon season, which is cooler. Today was really, really humid, but generally the temperatures have been much cooler. I just checked the current temperature, and here is an idea of what "much cooler" means: it is 30 degrees, and it feels like 40 degrees. That is unfortunately what "much cooler" is here. In fact, I only brought one sweater, but have been wearing it frequently these days because I feel like it is getting cooler. I cannot imagine what will happen to me when I return to Canada. Bring on the parkas! Once again, God sure is funny!

Even though all these things seem to make one wonder why I would be here, I know that there are many reasons that make Thailand a great place for me. After all, it is called the Land of smiles, and I do love to smile! It's funny to see where God has placed you, and to think of the journey that led you to that place. I know I am here for a reason. I don't know what it is, but I trust that God is going to reveal that in his perfect timing. I am happy that I did not choose where I would go directly after school, because often my plans are selfishly motivated and are far from God's plans. He never promised me that His plans for me would be easy, as I am definitely experiencing, but He promised me that He would go each step with me and never leave me. This is what I will hold onto as I venture further into this wild ride I am on.