This past week I got to do something that I have wanted to do for a long time: scuba dive! I always thought it would be really fun, but after visiting the aquarium in Chiang Mai at the beginning of August I was pretty convinced that the separation between me and those sea creatures between that lovely glass partition was as close as I wanted to get. My dear friend Lauren was slightly more uncomfortable with the glass partition there, but I wasn't nervous. It was all really amazing, but I imagined myself diving in that tank and pretty much decided that my open water certification dreams were just that: dreams.
Like just about everything I do, in one spontaneous moment or two I decided I wanted to do it, and without thinking too much about it I signed up and had paid for my PADI open water course. Note: thinking for too long about something usually freaks me right out and would make me not want to do it. This probably sounds irresponsible and wreckless, but it is the thought process behind most awesome outdoor decisions I make (examples: bungee jumping, solo camping, etc.). All of the sudden while in the beautiful waters in Krabi I found myself wanting to scuba dive so much. I went snorkeling and it was one of the most relaxing things ever. The waters are just filled with tropical fish and awesome things to see, and I so badly just wanted to explore the bottom and see what else was in this hidden underwater world. Hence wanting to scuba dive. This was one day at approximately 1pm, and the next day at that time I was fully signed up for an open water course that started the next day. Now being in Thailand this is something that is offered in the shortest humanly possible time limit, which was 2 days.
I was a little nervous going into the first dive, but primarily because I know that sea snakes inhabit the same waters that I would be diving in. I was not entirely sure if I would be freaked out when breathing into the respirator in the first place. Then having the looming thought of the possibility of spitting out my respirator/having a heart attack under water on the slight chance that a sea snake sidled itself up beside me is enough to make any girl a tad bit nervous. I was pleasantly surprised, however, to find that diving is one of the most relaxing things in the world to me.
This surprised me a great deal actually. Being trapped underwater and being completely reliant on one oxygen source and your ability to hold on with dear life to the respirator sounds like it could be potentially stressful, but it was actuallly quite the opposite of that. I found it to be one of the most freeing experiences where I was so curious to look at everything and explore the depths of the ocean floor. I saw so many amazing things, and was in complete awe of things, rather than being scared. I saw massive stingrays, triggerfish, so many sea turtles, and a plethora of tropical fish as well as massive puffer fish. I also almost put my hand on a lion fish, but the guide swooped in and tackled me out of the way of that mess. Haha I had no idea what it was and did not see it at all, but apparently that wouldn't have been good news.
The whole experience to me drew a parallel between us and God. I felt so free, but also so reliant. I wanted to explore and I felt so safe to do so, but I was also limited in what I could do and see because of oxygen levels, etc. I never once felt contained by those limitations underwater, but they were there. The ocean is so vast and open, and it felt so safe to me even with so many creatures that could be potentially dangerous. There was even a point where I thought I would be ok if I saw a sea snake because I didn't feel like the situation would be as terrifying as if I was on land. THIS IS A BIG DEAL. A moment where I was not scared of seeing a sea snake and being completely at peace with the underwater world!!!! The entire time I knew that every moment and breathe was consciously focused, but there was purpose behind the focus. This is the same, or should be the same, with our daily lives, but instead of the focus being on breathing it is God. When I was so entirely focused on the task at hand, everything else seemed to flow easily. I find this so often with my walk with God. When I am doing things on my own, I panic and often fall short of the goal. When God is included in the plan and I take time to meditate on Him, all of the sudden the problem is solved without me even knowing there was a solution already being worked out.
Diving taught me far more than just the basic mandatory skills for my certification, but it opened my eyes to what I want my life to feel like on land. I want that same peace on land that I had under water. I was completely reliant, without a choice, and all of the sudden fear was abolished and I felt completely free in a very limited environment. God has graciously given us so much choice, but with that ability to choose we often create problems for ourselves. I want to be as reliant on God on land as I was reliant on my respirator under water. I want that freedom with limitations, and I want to focus on God as easily as we focus on breathing. Man, wouldn't life be incredible if we could do that all the time!
For those of you who need a quick life update (sorry I haven't updated much recently at all): finished semester one, finished report cards, friends are visiting from Ontario and we went to Krabi, went rock climbing, snorkeling, scuba diving, did Thai cooking class, lied on the beach, and am gearing up for a visit to the market tomorrow for their last day here :( That's all for now, but I will update soon and hopefully get some pictures up in the next few weeks!
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