I was warned. Teaching at a Christian school in a Buddhist country is going to be hard. I listened, but I didn't fully understand. The reality of what "tough" entails is certainly coming to life and has been transpiring since I got here.
It seems that since I set foot in Thailand I have been under attack in one form or another since the week I arrived. Whether it be discrimination from the administration because of diabetes, attacks on any self-confidence I ever had, no support from the administration and personal attacks from them, or the cliques in this so called "Christian" community that we live in, I have been constantly feeling attacked since getting here. It has not been easy. I have seen spiritual attack and correlation in the attack I receive with great things happening in my classroom. There has been so much receptiveness to what I have been doing in devotions and what I have shared with my kids, but simultaneously I have felt so under attack.
I want to be able to see this work and not allow Satan to take hold of the work that God is doing in my classroom. But that is so tough. I have seen so much darkness and have been experiencing so much darkness and depression that is taking everything out of me. The reality of spiritual oppression and the presence of spiritual attacks in such a dark, Buddhist country is coming to life. I get so excited about sharing the gospel with my kids and having honest, truthful conversations with them. I have an opportunity to sit down with 13 young kids from Buddhist families each day and share with them why I believe in God and challenge them in ways I never thought I would have the audacity to do. God has given me courage to ask bold questions and not be afraid of being politically correct in my sharing with them.
Often God will speak to me in dreams of what I should share with my students in devotions. Sometimes it seems a little crazy, so in the morning I will pray and ask for confirmation. Each time I have presented something that seemed to be too bold or required a lot of courage, the immediate response in my classroom has floored me. The other day I sat my kids down and shared what was on my heart. One student asked a question and all of the sudden a great conversation started. I looked around to find the most captive audience I have ever seen out of my class. Every student was intrigued by what was being talked about and there was not one student who was not listening to what was happening. I would be lucky if this happened in English class, let alone devotions time.
Unfortunately though, I have to be honest. Christmas is usually a really exciting time and something that I really look forward to. Here though, I am actually dreading Christmas. I know, I sound like the most awful person. I know that Christmas time is one where talk of the gospel and Jesus is huge and it is a time where we get to present the parents of our kids with the gospel story. This should be so exciting, but I just know that with the presence of so much light around Christmas time, I feel like it is going to bring so much attack and oppression. It's almost like I feel I need to brace myself before the Christmas season here. But it has already started and I'm not sure I'm ready for it.
I want to be so excited about all the ways that I see God moving here, but feeling excited about anything has been tough for a while. I'm drained and quite honestly tired of being here. Teaching at a Christian school in a Buddhist country is tough, and day-by-day I am learning the reality of what that means.
Chrissy, I read through the last couple of your entries with tears in my eyes. I am so thankful that God is letting you see some of what He is doing in and through you in Thailand. It is also very wise to recognize that there is opposition from the enemy. I sense that what you are are sowing in tears will be reaped in laughter. You are in a position to be so influential in these kids lives and the enemy hates that, especially since you have overcome all of his schemes already with the help of God by persevering. I particularly loved reading about your scuba experience and had a big smile on my face about how you related how you felt in the water as how you want to feel on land...so many good parallels! The song "Strong Love" by Jon Thurlow is coming to mind for you. One of the lines is "I know the end of the story, I come up from the wilderness, leaning on my beloved..." and then sings about how nothing can separate us from God's love (Rom 8). (you can listen to it on grooveshark). Hope it works to talk soon :) We will continue to pray for you!
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